Choices
by Bumblebee93
Summary: Clare and Eli broke up. Clare gets over it quicker than Eli which is to be expected. Will the two find new love interests? The choice is their's stay with the new bf/gf or go back to the old. Cake, Emogen, and Eclare!
1. Fragile as Glass

**Chapter 1 Influenced**

**Clare POV**

"Eli I'm sorry it's just….not going to work ok? It was great while it lasted but I can't handle this anymore, I can't handle you." I said wiping away the tears that had begun to form in my eyes. Alli had made a point. I was constantly around Eli every second I wasn't sleeping he was there. She'd been persuasive enough. It was warm for late March I was at the end of semester dance. Eli and I had been fighting for weeks now at first about small things, if we were going to the dot or not, then about larger things like he wasn't over Julia.

"YOU PROMISED ME DAMMIT CLARE YOU PROMISED!" I heard his angry reply. His words stung and hurt me more than anything had ever before.

"I know I did it's just…I have to do what's best for me now. Eli I wish things were different. You need to get over Julia, and I need to get over you. I NEVER know what you're going to do, you scare me you honestly scare me. I worry every day I'm going to do something I'll regret, something that'll push you too far. That's why I called Bullfrog the other day after I saw the gun, that's why I wanted you to walk me to my locker. I'm so so sorry." I said ignoring the tears that were now pouring out streaking my face and smearing my makeup.

"I can't believe this. YOU RIPPED MY HEART OUT CLARE YOU FUCKING TORE IT TO SHREDS!" he hollered into the phone. I held it back away from my ear, it was that loud.

"Eli I'm sorry!" I replied sobbing hysterically now. I was desperate, for him to take this easier than he had, for him to not do something stupid, for me to be able to get over him.

"So am I," he replied simply. 

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"Eli? ELI ANSWER ME!" I screamed into the phone but there was no answer except for the dial tone.

"Oh no," I said closing the phone. I had a bad feeling he was going to do something stupid that one of us was going to regret. I pulled my phone out again and texted Adam.

Eli is gonna do something stupid. Not sure what, he hung up on me very pissed. I'm worried. Meet me out front.

-C

I stood in the doorway worried. Adam came first looking like I felt.

"I told him we were done and that I was sorry and he said so was he and a bunch of crap about how I ripped his heart out and then he hung up," I said starting to cry again.

"I'm going to kick his ass if he tries to kill himself," he replied.

"This is all my fault," I said in a whisper. My phone began to ring.

"Hello?" I said anxiously praying it was Eli. It wasn't.

"Is this Clare Edwards?" The voice on the phone said I didn't recognize it and I automatically knew what this call was about.

"Yes this is why?" I said nervously.

"Ms. Edwards I'm sorry to report that your friend Elijah Goldsworthy was in a car accident and is being transferred to Toronto Memorial Hospital."

My voice cracked as I said "Is he okay?"

"Mr. Goldsworthy was driving under the influence of sleep pills, he was intoxicated." The voice said simply. I heard a click and the dial tone began to play.

"Let's go," I said to Adam as I hurried in the direction of the hospital.

**Eli POV**

"_Eli I'm sorry it's just….not going to work ok? It was great while it lasted but I can't handle this anymore, I can't handle you."_ Clare's words rang clear through my head. Could she honestly be saying this to me? Now after all we'd been through?

I was mad. Acting on impulse I reached into my tote bag in the passenger's seat and pulled out a container of sleeping pills. Pouring several into my hands, more than I should, I tilted my head back and dumped them into my mouth swallowing. Clare's excuses were poor I couldn't believe that she thought I wasn't over Julia.

The pills began to take their effect quickly, perfect. Before I knew it I was groggy "So am I," I replied to Clare trying to make my words sound clear and not slurred like they seemed to sound to me. I hit the gas and Morty accelerated. My head fell backwards into the seat as I lost consciousness. The last thing I remembered was the sound of car horns and the squeal of brakes before the sickening crunch of metal. The one thing I was sure of was that tonight either I would be with Julia, the girl who really loved me, and Clare would know how it felt to lose someone, or that I would come out alive and my life would be heck.


	2. Lost Love

**(At the moment I'm posting a lot more than I normally will. Summer's here and I have no plans for the rest of this month. Next month I'll be on as best I can but no promises! Well anyways enjoy the chapter) **

**Clare POV **

I ran into the hospital's front doors Adam following close behind.

"Elijah Goldsworthy?" I asked the woman at the front desk. Giving me a warm smile she began to go through the files on her computer.

"Room 107 sweet heart," she said giving me a sugary smile. I felt sick.

"Thank you," I said giving her a tiny smile in return.

"Room 107 let's go," I said taking Adam by the hand and dragging him towards the elevators. I impatiently waited for the doors to open. A woman was in a wheel chair holding a newborn in her arms. I ignored them at first and then recognized the father pushing the chair.

"There goes Jenna," I whispered to Adam as I pressed the third floor button. It took a matter of minutes to get to the floor but it seemed like hours. For all I knew Room 107 was the morgue.

It took a minute to find the room. We didn't recognize it by the number on the door we recognized it because through the windows into the room I saw Eli. Covered in bandages, leg in a cast I gasped in disbelief.

"He actually did it. He actually tried to kill himself." I whispered to myself in awe. His parents weren't here yet…well if they were they weren't in sight. I watched as his head turned to face the window. We made eye contact and his face lit up like a child's on Christmas morning. Why was he happy? I could only guess. Motioning for us to come in he gave me one of his famous smirks.

Quietly I walked into the room. Adam followed shutting the door behind us. I was close to tears, from worry, sadness, fear, mostly because I was pissed off that he would EVER try to put his life in danger.

"Hey," I said simply looking down at the ground. He was hooked up to multiple things from a heart monitor to an IV.

"Clare you came, I mean I knew you would but…" he stopped I looked up and saw the look of confusion on his face.

"You're upset." He said simply as it registered in his all too small of a brain.

Taking a breath I tried to calm down to stop the tears that wanted so badly to flow. I didn't mean for my words to sound as harsh as they did but that's what happens when your emotions get the best of you.

"ELI OF COURSE I'M UPSET FOR CRYING OUT LOUD YOU TRIED TO KILL YOURSELF! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE OK WITH THAT? I TOLD YOU THAT YOU SCARED ME WELL NOW IT'S PURE TERROR. You tried to kill yourself." I said still in disbelief.

"Clare." He started trying to take my hand which the IV wouldn't allow.

"I did it for us, you don't know what you're saying you think I'm not over Julia, and you think I'm some psychopath." he said looking hurt again.

"Eli I know EXACTLY what I'm saying. I KNOW you're not over Julia and I don't think you a psychopath but I am questioning your sanity." I said as the tears began to pour.

"I'm sorry but your idea of fixing things between us was wrong. Terribly horribly wrong all you've done now is cause yourself physical pain to go along with emotional. I'm sorry but I can't be with you." With that I turned around and left hearing his cries as I did so. Tears made my makeup run farther than they had before. I sobbed picturing the hurt look on his face as I entered the warm March evening.

**Eli POV**

I woke up with pains in my leg, arm, and ribs. Grimacing to myself I glanced around the room. It was dimly lit by a few lights and there was an annoying beeping noise, a heart monitor, great. I looked out the window and watched people go by. I grinned when I saw Clare and Adam. I couldn't believe it my plan actually worked!

We talked a few minutes before I realized something was bothering her. I pointed it out to her and she completely lost it.

Before I knew what'd hit me she stormed out of the room. I couldn't believe this. I was dumped in the hospital by non-other than Saint Clare. I leaned back in my pillow closed my eyes and I cried completely oblivious to Adam in the chair next to me.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly before leaving to find Cece and Bullfrog.

I, Eli Goldsworthy had nobody. My plan to get the girl I love to re-love me had completely ruined us. I cried for a while before a nurse came in and gave me pain killers assuming I was crying because of pain. Before I knew it I fell asleep dreaming only of what could've been.

**(Sorry it's short Ik but the shorter they are the sooner I post…)**


	3. Contradictions and Scrambled Eggs

**Clare POV**

I hadn't made it to the elevator before I'd run into Cece and Bullfrog.

"I'm so sorry this is all my fault," I choked out through my sobs. I didn't even look at them just kept walking. I left the hospital that night trying to convince myself I'd done the right thing.

_He needs help, maybe now he'll get it. _

_**No he needs me he wants me, I should never have done that to him. He was over Julia maybe I just overreacted. **_

My brain and heart were telling me two separate things. I didn't know which was right so I ignored them both. I continued walking past Degrassi to home. Well I tried but Alli was waiting for me outside.

"Clare you did the right thing, the guys a psycho." She said with words she thought comforted me but didn't.

"Alli he wasn't like that all you don't know the Eli I know, well knew he changed over the last few months. Problems I never noticed before showed up abruptly, I left him when he needed me most," I said disappointed in myself. How could I have not realized this?

"Clare he was MANIPULATING you he was controlling who knows how bad things could've gotten," she said contradicting me.  
>"Alli Eli's a lot of things but he was NEVER controlling, I made my decisions for myself, one of them was listening to you. I'm going home, I'll call you tomorrow but I have a feeling I'm going to say something I'll regret." I said wiping my eyes. I continued walking. Right now I wanted to be alone which I doubted anyone would allow.<p>

**Eli POV**

I woke up around 9:00 the next morning. I hated myself, I hated Clare for hurting me the way she did and breaking her promise, I hated Julia for leaving me, sighing to myself I scowled. I ached everywhere. What was really irritating was being on suicide watch. Every 20minutes a nurse I think her name was Margret came in to check on me. When she came in this morning she brought food. Just wonderful.

I made a face at what was placed before me. Eggs, bacon, and toast. It looked repulsive. The eggs ran through the fork, the bacon was almost raw, and the toast burned to a crisp. I'd rather eat dirt. I was hungry though so I choked it down before trying to get rid of the taste with a gulp of orange juice.

I heard Margret come back into the room so I pretended to be sound asleep as she cleared things away from my bed. I had yet to see Cece and Bullfrog. Had my parents forgotten about me? I pulled out my notebook (one of the things in my bag that'd been salvaged along with my cell, and my Gothic Tales comic book.) and started a new story. This one about a girl who hated a boy who loved her. Sound familiar? I thought so.


	4. Shadowed

**Eli POV**

About a week had passed since the accident. Today I was being released from the hospital; oh joy a solid week of being home with Cece and Bullfrog. I groaned at the thought. I knew my parents were great, cool to my friends but lately they'd been beyond protective. Not that I could blame them, they had a son who attempted suicide to get his girlfriend back, was a hoarder, and still held a grudge on his dead ex. After a week with them I'd be stuck back in school and have therapy twice a week. To top it all off for the next month and a half I was stuck in a wheelchair. Even better.

**Clare POV**

Degrassi has this thing called shadowing. Basically when there's a new student in the school one of the student volunteers show them around and they have a few classes together. I was one of the volunteers. Most people wouldn't transfer to a new school in the last quarter so I figured I'd probably be done for the year.

Imagine my surprise when Mr. Simpson called me out in the middle of English, just before we got new partners, to meet my newest shadow. I followed him down to the office wondering what this person would be like.

Sitting down in his chair he called a boy into the room.

"Clare Edwards meet your shadow Jake Martin, Jake this is Clare she'll be helping you find your way around," he said.

"I'll let you two get to know each other a bit." He added leaving the room.

This boy, Jake, had short brown hair, dark green eyes, and was tall and muscular. He would easily be the new heart throb especially since Drew was now taken.

"What grade are you in?" I asked him with a friendly smile. He looked nervous, more than he needed to be.

"Tenth, you?" he asked me waiting for an answer.

"Same," I replied laughing. He joined in.


	5. He's BAAACK!

**Eli POV**

After a week stuck in my house with my parents I couldn't be more excited to head back to school. Cece was dropping me off which I couldn't have been less excited about. I wasn't in the mood for a lecture about how I needed to keep my cool during school, let her know if something's bothering me, and reminders of my appointments with Ms. Soveit.

Adam was leaning on a wall waiting for me. I grimaced as Cece ran around the back of her car and got my wheel chair from the trunk. I hated that thing with an unimaginable passion. The doctors wouldn't let me use crutches yet though so this was my only alternative.

"Let's go," I said coldly to Adam as I rolled my way up through the front doors. The first person I saw was of course Clare, my blue eyes. She was laughing with Alli and some boy but when she saw me she stopped and looked away quickly. I rolled my eyes and headed towards my locker.

**Clare POV**

Jake and I had begun hanging out a lot more since Monday. He was grateful that he had a place to sit at lunch with Alli and I. This morning we'd been talking about our weekends in front of the school. Jake explaining how he babysat the Jamison kids.

They were the kids any smart babysitter knew to avoid sitting. I couldn't help laughing when he mentioned feeding the baby, and how he wound up coated in oatmeal. I noticed the students swarming the halls were making room for someone who I wasn't sure. Then I saw Eli rolling down the hallway without emotions, Adam following. I stopped laughing and turned away. He was back, wonderful.

"Jake I think Alli and I should head to English, I need to check with Ms. Dawes about switching writing partners. I said with a small smile.

"See you," he said with a grin.

" I know it's last minute but may I please switch writing partners? I'm not picky I just…I can't be Eli's anymore. Things are too complicated between us right now. I need space from him," I begged her. .

"Clare I can pair him up with one of our two new students coming in today you can partner with the other Jake Martin?" she said thumbing through her papers.

"Thanks Ms. Dawes." I replied heading to my seat, relief flooding through me.

**Eli POV**

I grimaced all my books were on the top shelf of my locker and I of course couldn't reach past the coat hooks. I stretched out my hands praying I could reach them. I almost had it when a pale hand with black nail polish grabbed them and handed them to me.

"Thanks," I said quietly looking up to see a girl in a red polo with strange pigtail bun type things.

"I'm Imogen and no prob," she said with a smile she stuck her hand out and I shook it.

"Eli," I replied shutting my locker. I tried to ignore the bandages she had covering her arms. She was cute, I'd give her that but her light brown eyes were nothing compared to Clare's sparkly blue ones.

"Today's my first day and I was wondering where Ms. Dawes English class was?" she asked sounding embarrassed.

"That's my 1st hour I can show you," I said with a smile.

"Thanks," she replied returning it.

"Class there are some new students joining us today Jake Martin and Imogen Moreno I hope you treat them as one of your own." Ms. Dawes said smiling.

"Imogen you'll be writing partners with Eli and Jake you'll be with Clare," she added explaining the assignment. I smirked as she took the empty seat next to me.

"So if you don't mind my asking what happened to put you in the chair?" she asked nodding to my newly aquried set of wheels.

"My ex and I were arguing over the phone, I was driving my hearse and I got into an accident to put things bluntly." I replied quietly glancing at Clare.

"That her?" she asked looking to see my expression.

"Yup," I said quietly beginning my story.


	6. Letters from the heart

**Clare's English Assignment **

_Dear Eli,_

_I need my space. It doesn't mean we're breaking up, it doesn't mean I don't love you it, because I do I mean I do love you, but your suffocating me. You're not who you used to be. I wish I knew what'd happened to the guy I once knew the one who cared more about what I was thinking than wither than if I was wearing a new shirt. The guy who would wait until I was ready, and respected my decisions, the guy who taught me not to care about what other's think that was the guy I loved, not this one. This one scares me. He won't leave me alone, ever. Picks me up for school, takes me home from school, walks me to my classes. This guy acts more like a bodyguard than a boyfriend. _

_I wish I knew what he was afraid of, but it could be so many things losing me, forgetting her, if I only knew. You'd lost more in your 16 years than most people would in a lifetime. I was afraid of what you'd do if I said anything, maybe hurt me, maybe get even worse when it came to protecting me. The chain you had me on was getting shorter and shorter bit by bit I was losing my freedom, bit by bit it was getting harder to breathe._

_Eli you helped me pick my shattered life up off the ground and helped me piece it back together, only to in the end smash it apart again. You kept things hidden, her death, your feelings, even your bedroom. I thought I could fix some of them, if only I knew. You never loved me, not like her. She was the source of our relationship problems, the hoarding, everything. I realized soon that you weren't over her, not like you claimed. You claimed it hurt that I didn't believe you, didn't you realize it hurt me to? You were almost stabbed at a school dance because you were fighting for my "honor" if only you'd realized it wasn't what I'd wanted. _

_That night in the hospital I knew I needed to break it off. I didn't want to but it was what was best. I couldn't help you anymore. I felt horrible doing it, seeing that look on your face, your emerald eyes pleading it was the hardest thing I've ever done. It hurts to see you with the new girl Imogen. I wish it were me, at the same time though, I don't. I hope she knows what she's getting into because with you Eli it's like a Tale of Two Cities. It was the best of times it was the worst of times. _

_Maybe someday we can work things out but then again maybe not. I wish I knew where my Romeo went, maybe I'll find a new one. I hope Imogen is your Juliet, because I want you to be happy. Breaking up with you was hard but it was also good for me. So I'm sorry for all I'd put you through, this was just a way to explain it. Maybe sometime we can hang out and be friends again…then again maybe not. _

_-Clare _

Tears had begun to spring as I finished the letter. I clicked the save button and printed it off. I knew that I shouldn't have written my letter to Eli but it was something I needed to do. If he wouldn't talk to me in person then he'd have to listen to me with the letter. Jake would edit it in English tomorrow. I wonder who he'd write to. Alli maybe? I'd find out then. Ms. Dawes had told us today that the person would be reading this letter, which is why I'd written it to Eli. Sighing to myself I glanced outside my bedroom window. It was cold and rainy. A quiet night really. Mom was out at some church thing. It was only eight but I was tired. Turning off my light I fell into a dead sleep.

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Later in the week. ….

**Eli POV**

I sat in English class in the seat as far away from Clare and Jake as possible. Imogen walked into the room, she grinned at me. Maybe I'd ask her on a date for this weekend. Maybe not. I'd written my letter to Clare. I hoped she wouldn't think of me as corny, or desperate. I didn't really care if she did. She hated me now, that was obvious. Ms. Dawes passed out the letters we were receiving. Everyone got at least one. I was shocked when Ms. Dawes handed me two. One was from Imogen. The envelope was Black with skulls covering it. The other didn't have a name on the front. This one was blue. The same blue as Clare's eyes. I opened that one first. I began reading and stopped after the first few sentences. I couldn't do this. Not here, not now.

Imogen's letter was simple.

_We met on my first day. Helping you get your books down wasn't me being a nice person. It was me taking the opportunity to talk to you. It was the only way I could think of doing it. Truth is Eli I like you. A lot. I can't help but get nervous when I'm around you. I know that you just got out of a relationship. Just thought I'd let you know that I do really really like you. You've shown me around school, and given me a place to sit at lunch. You've been nothing but nice, so thanks. I know this letter sounds really cheesy, but that's me. _

_-Imogen. _

I finished the letter and realized she was watching me.

"I like you too," I said smirking. She smiled,

"Would you like to go out this weekend?" she asked me her voice filled with hope.

"Sure," I replied with a grin.


End file.
